HOT Mamas!!

Aren't we though (hot mamas)? I think so! :) These are some of the ladies I go walking with every morning. Left to Right: Susan, Barbara, Monae, me, Andrea, Tifani, Jill, Stacey, and Liz. Not all of the kids are present because many were playing on the playground. We ended our walk at the park today for playgroup (which we have once a week with all the stay at home moms in our ward). I really enjoy walking with these wonderful woman. I am one who needs motivation to exercise regularly and having good company really helps me be consistent! We also started (thanks to Jill) doing some weights after our walks this week which has been so good for me. Anyway, I just feel very lucky to be surrounded by other woman in the same situation as I am, with the same goals and so I can glean from them encouragement, ideas, and friendship (plus a good workout!). That's what I call a win, win, WIN! (it's from The Office, get it?) I feel really cheesy but since I got a picture to post with, it seemed like a good time to say THANK YOU!!

Also, I think this little collage is self-explanatory but I'll explain anyway. :) Sophie is really into hats these days. And calls anything she can balance on her head a hat. I think it is funny how she has to walk around with it on, once the "hat" is secure she can't hold still and must walk around the house wearing it, all the while patting her head (the sign for hat) and telling me it's a "haaa," no "t" on the end yet but she sure tries! One last thing worth mentioning, this is my 100th post! Sure seems like a lot.

missing Dad...

Dan's in his last week of class before finals and we're already starting to feel the strain. He's had to stay at school a bit more, we know it will get worse over the next few weeks but Sophie finds little ways to remember her dad while he's gone all day...

The "peeping tom" picture needs an explanation because I think it's HILARIOUS!! I know I probably shouldn't encourage this behavior... but I sort of do. Let me explain myself, Dan is very worried about Sophie seeing him dressed inappropriately, worst of all NAKED! I've tried to explain to him that she doesn't care or even notice. She sees me naked everyday, no big deal right? Someone told me children don't have any permanent memories prior to age 3. Dan's always been funny about this, even when she was a newborn who didn't even open her eyes he'd get really mad at me if I walked into the bed room with her while he was getting dressed. Anyway, I think he's being ridiculous and think it's so funny to tease him. Sophie started getting curious about the shower going in the morning and was very happy to find that her dad was in there when she pulled back the curtain. Now she thinks of it as a game, she'll just sit there with the curtain pulled back and get her face and hair all wet just smiling at Dan. I can't stop laughing because Dan is incredibly uncomfortable trying to hide in the shower while sweet innocent little Sophie is laughing at him thinking he's being funny!! So what do I do? Take a picture of course. As for the other two, fairly self-explanatory, Sophie really likes to wear her Dad's hat. The funny thing is that once she has it on she has to walk around, what's the point of wearing a hat without strutting? Sophie put Dan's basketball jersey on the other day while I was doing laundry and was SO proud of herself, as you clearly can see.

In other news; Sophie's been a little under the weather. She seems to have some sort of stomach flu except that she has no other signs of being sick (aside from the throwing up, sorry to be so graphic). Anyway, I have been taking her temperature with her ear thermometer (much quicker and easier than the rectal variety!). Since we put it in her ear she thinks it's a cell phone. She has been walking around holding it up to her ear saying "HI!" the last couple days I think it is incredibly cute.

money, money, money.... MONEY!

I am feeling pretty rich tonight. I was recruited at a Target store Friday night to participate in a focus group. I drove down town at 3:00 to an office where they had us sign some stuff about being video taped. And then they drove us to a Target (there were 6 of us) in this nice little bus that was like a limo on the inside. We were taken in one at a time and shown a display and were recorded as we gave our opinion of it and what we would change. We drove back to the office where they gave us some food and debriefed us about what we saw. We were done at 7:00 and given $150 cash!!! Pretty sweet huh? I think I will buy myself something pretty.

Here is a COMPLETELY unrelated scrapbook page. I took these Sunday afternoon in Sophie's room. I just thought she looked so cute in her little ducky dress. Sidenote: the reason it is so small is that it is actually size 3 months... at least she has nice legs! I also included a picture of her wearing the same dress a year ago when she was 2 months old. Sad, I know, but I like the dress and the buttons still close... so she wore it!

Birthday Weekend

We just wanted to wish Joni a happy birthday today, Jason tomorrow, and Jack on Monday (yes, they are all my siblings). I wish I could see at least one of you on your birthday!! But in your absence I wanted to share these clips of Sophie being funny the other night.

Joni, Jason and Jack; I love and miss you all very much!! Hope your birthdays are GREAT!!!

Sophie's baby signs

I've had a bad taste in my mouth since my last post because I hate being negative... in my defense, that story needed to be documented! Anyway, over the last couple of days I put this video together of Sophie demonstrating her ability to use baby sign (ASL made easier so babies can do it). We've taught it to Sophie in hopes that it will cut down on the frustration of not being able to talk yet when she can already understand (aka- the terrible two's). She's picked up on every sign I've shown her so far (except for cat... maybe she shares my distaste for the creatures) and I think she's doing really well!! It's so fun to see her face light up when I understand what she's trying to tell me, I know she gets so much satisfaction from figuring it out. I can't take all the credit though (as much as I'd like to!) she's learned a lot of it from watching her Baby Signing Time videos.

Back to the video I made... it may be kind of annoying to watch because there are so many snippets hodge-podged together but I can't get her to do them on demand she has to have a reason to do it. So I showed her pictures in books hoping she'd perform and it didn't work all the time... hence all the different clips. I know she knows all of them but I guess she doesn't see the point in repeating everything I say. Oh, and one more disclaimer: There is one part were she is looking inside a book with shapes; the first page has circles and the 2nd has squares. Well, they both have clocks on them and I didn't realize it while I was filming but the reason she kept pointing up when she saw them is because I was trying to show her one day (several weeks ago) that the clocks in her book are the same thing as the clock on our wall, by pointing up! Frankly, I am surprised she remembered that. **NOTE: You may want to pause the music on the bottom of the page so you can hear the video.**

I love you baby, good work!!!

You know it really does amaze me how much she remembers, children really are little sponges!! When I stop and think about that it makes me want to be a better example for her in so many ways. I want to start doing family prayers and scriptures with Sophie, not because she'll understand what we are saying but because she will understand that it is important and we need to do it everyday! There are a million little things I can teach her by my actions, I guess I need to start paying more attention to what I am (inadvertently) teaching her. I am humbled that my father in heaven has entrusted me with this great power and influence, it just makes me smile inside, I hope I won't let Him down.

the worst part about being a mom

So this afternoon I laid Sophie down for her 2nd nap around 4:15. She was really tired but as she's done the last few days she didn't go to sleep right away. She didn't cry just talked to herself so I let her be, hoping she'd eventually go to sleep. (I promise I'm going somewhere with this, keep reading.) I thought she was asleep several times for 10 minutes or more but she kept talking, since she was happy I let her be so I could continue getting things done. Well, I needed to leave at 5:30 to pick Dan up from school so we could meet with our friends; so at about 5:20 she still was making noise when I went into her room... What did I find???? I looked down in her crib and it looked like she had thrown up in it so I felt really bad and immediately reached for her to cuddle when I notice that she has it on her hands... and up her back... IT'S POOOOOOP!!!!!! I quickly change my approach from cuddling to scolding (luckily before I had picked her up). Sorry if this is too graphic but the poo was bright orange (she likes carrots) and she had it on her hands and arms, a little on her face, plus all over her crib blankets, bumpers, toys, and clothes! (I just hope she didn't eat any.) So gross. Needless to say I was late getting Dan because I had to start a load of poopy laundry and give Sophie a bath. NO I didn't take any pictures (you sicko, that's disgusting) but you can take my word for it when I say it was DISGUSTING! I kept looking at her as we were driving to get Dan expecting her to look remorseful or at least mischievous, but she just acted normal as if nothing had happened. Apparently playing with poo and rubbing it all over is no big deal to a 1 year old, but it IS to me!!

Truly and honestly I love being a mom, it's the best job in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I feel like being a mom had changed me in a lot of good ways bringing me closer to the person I'd like to be. But I have to say that this was no shinning mommy moment this afternoon.

her favorite things

This is kind of fun, Sophie got tagged. Here are 20 of her favorite things:

1. Mom (awwwww....)

2. Dad (double awww...)

3. candy

4. her binky

5. Signing Time and Baby Einstein

6. Teletubbies (much to her parents' dismay, we HATE it!)

7. Mom's caculator (I guess this is either because she watches me work with it for so long she's jealous or she thinks there must be something good about it if I can use it that much!)

8. books (ALL books, she will look through anything from children's books to Dan's text books)

9. slides (this love started in UT with Grandma Nina's little slide; now she looks forward to our daily trip down the slide in our apartment complex... laughs every time!)

10. music and dancing (one of my favorite things she learned how to do is in the morning she changes the radio station on my old "boom box" from commercials to music with a beat so she can dance)

11. eating

12. playing with other kids

13. stuffed animals

14. going to see her Grandmas

15. walking around somewhere she hasn't been before

16. DOGS!

17. cars (I think it's just because she likes the sign for car... not sure)

18. balloons (I really appreciate restaurants that have balloons for the kids.)

19. hats (she likes to put them on and then walk around but mostly she likes us to wear them so she can take them off our heads and tell us to put them on again)

20. toes, she enjoys her own but giggles uncontrollably if I "attack" her with mine

I love my little girl so much, she brings me more joy than I ever thought possible and I hope I can give her more of what she loves. (deep breath... sigh... awwww) Anyway, I tag... everyone wants to list their baby's favorite things and no one who doesn't. :)

going to Chicago!?!?

Well, at Sophie's 1 year check-up I got up on my soap box and was talking to her pediatrician about her mole. I explained everything we've been through up to this point with all the doctors and differing opinions. Scheduling surgeries then cancelling them, and just not being sure what would be best for Sophie. I told her that I think we would have already got it removed if I had felt like I was given a good option for removal that would look good in the end. (Why remove it if it will end up looking as bad or worse than it did before?) I told her that we received a referral for a doctor in Chicago that specializes in pediatric tissue expansion and that is the only surgery that I've learned about that I think would end up looking good. But no one in state can/will do that surgery. Sophie's pediatrician told me something that I didn't know. She said that she's heard of Medicaid (Sophie's insurance) paying for an out of state doctor if the patient needs a procedure that is not offered in state!!! (WHAAAAT? Why didn't someone tell me that before???) She didn't know much about it but thought it might be a resolution for us.

Over the last week I have exchanged several emails and one phone call with the doctor in Chicago, Dr. Bruce Bauer. Honestly, I have felt like this was meant to be. I have shed so many tears and had so many sleepless nights worrying about Sophie's mole and what I should do. We have scheduled her surgery and canceled it 3 times before with other doctors just because it didn't feel right. Those of you have been reading my blog for awhile, know how indecisive I've been about this. As I said before I think that we would have already had it removed had I felt like we'd been given a a good option for removal. Dr. Bauer is WONDERFUL!! He's the best in the country at what he does (people come to him from all over the world) yet he is the 1st doctor that has paid me the courtesy of explaining the procedures, their pros and cons, and what exactly it entails. I was so surprised that he replied to my emails the same day, empathized with my concerns and explained things in such a way that they made sense! I know that seems like it should be a given, but my experience with surgeons has been dismal. In the past I have felt like they either didn't care or didn't know the answers to my questions. I was so pleasantly surprised that Dr. Bauer would be the one who spent all that time answering my questions, seeing as he's the one in the highest demand! The poor guy answers my emails and calls me late at night when he's home from work, something that he doesn't need to do. The truth is that while Sophie's surgery may seem trivial to these surgeons that perform much more complicated surgeries on a daily basis, it is a BIG DEAL to me!! Dr. Bauer seems to get that. We don't have a surgery date yet but Dr. Bauer told me last night that August would probably be the earliest we can get on the schedule.

The other great news is that it looks like Medicaid will pay for it!! We will have to pay for the travel but they will pay the medical costs. Also, my cousin lives in the Chicago area and said we can stay there this summer. It will be nice to have a free place to stay but it will also be nice to have the moral support since Sophie and I will probably be going alone.

The bad news is that we actually are going to do it! Let me explain. Looking at everything logically, I would want my mole removed if I were Sophie and now is the best time physically and psychologically to do it. We are getting the best doctor in the country to do it, and we're getting the best possible procedure to give us the best end result, plus we don't have to pay for it! Seems like a no brainer right? WRONG! Like I was saying, when I think about it logically it makes sense to go for it but when I actually think about how hard it will be for me to see my baby to go into surgery (especially when she doesn't HAVE to, this is totally elective surgery) and having her be in pain as she recovers. I think about having to do her injections to fill the tissue expander myself, her being uncomfortable for 8 weeks as we "grow" more skin on her hand. Then having her go back into surgery again to remove the expander and the mole, and the recovery following. All this thinking makes me want to do anything to get out of it!! But then I go back to what a great opportunity this is and how it's for the best... do you see how crazy this makes me?? The truth is that as a parent I would do anything for my daughter and would never want to cause her pain, the question is whether this pain I will cause her now will prevent equal or greater amounts of pain the future. Would she have developed melanoma if we just left it alone? All of these "what if"'s make me more crazy that anything else.

In conclusion, Dan and I have some more fasting and praying to do but logically (NOT emotionally) it feels like the right thing to do and I think we will end up doing it. How on earth will I survive the drama of it? I have NO CLUE!!!! But we have really felt very good about this doctor and Dan and I have said many times how it seems like this is what we (didn't know) we were waiting for. It just seems like it is all coming together so beautifully that this is meant to be. I'll be happy when it's over.

church ball

Here's some pictures I took at Dan's first Elder's Quorum basketball game. They've been practicing once a week for awhile and I know Dan has really been looking forward to start competing. Unfortunately the game wasn't much of a "competition" our ward won the game 86-24! The most exciting part of the game was when Danny, a new member to our ward, scored... he is such a funny guy. He kept saying, "that's how it's done!" After he got his 2 points, let's just say that it didn't look like he's played on many basketball teams before so it was a big accomplishment when he scored, and it made it so much better because he was so excited about it. Sophie loved watching the game and enjoyed playing with the balls on the stage. I also included a picture of Sophie with Jake (her boyfriend) she LOVES him. Sophie reaches and cries for Jake whenever he's around and is happy just to sit in his lap.

Here's a picture of Sophie I wanted to include from this weekend. She is enjoying spaghetti and meatballs, she was such a huge MESS!! If you look closely you will see there was a meatball wedged in her right nostril...

you asked for it...

My mom was asking me when I would post more video of Sophie... I though I had just done that but she told me that she can't get enough of Sophie. I asked her what she wants to see and she said ANYTHING! So here's a video of Sophie I took yesterday for you mom, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! It's just Sophie playing... hope you like it!